why is it when i love someone i always end up feeling i don't deserve to be loved back..?
not good enough, she's so high, not smart enough, i'm waay older..
does love really exist?
i mean...
is it just a feeling similar  to wanting some brand new sexy gadget
you want it bad because you don't have it
and when you eventually have it
you just don't feel anything, maybe in two or three weeks you will enjoy it
but after that, it's just a regular gadget..

just like they say..
the happiness is in the process of acquiring it
the passion lies in the process of work your ass off just to acquire that shiny little useless gadget..
and when you have it..
that's it..

is that what love is like?
something you perceived as something special
because the excitement of finding out whether she loves you back or not

i don't know...
i really don't know..
the idea that it is necessary having someone loves you to make you feel whole is stupid enough to begin with..